Thursday, 6 April 2017

People with no kids kids think they know

So a long time ago I watch a video clip of this English comedian. Let me tell you - he had tears STREAMING down my face. If you have never watched him before, go to YouTube and type the title of this post in. So. Flipping. Hilarious.

I think that the title of this post comes to me almost daily and I burst out laughing. It comes to me daily because his video clip is so bang on true. Everything he mentions in it is stuff that happens daily to all parents.

Being a parent is the most mentally and physically exhausting journey of my life. I don't know how many times my kids do things or say things (fifty times over in a 30 second time frame) in a day, that make me want to lock myself in the bathroom or run away. Then in the same token, I don't know how many times in a day that they make my heart burst with pride and so much love for them it's crazy!

Here are some examples of moments that make me lose my mind. Up in here, Up in here. LOL, see what I just did there? Yep, definitely losing my mind.

*Just imagine all the daily things a normal person does every day. Talking on the phone, making meals, talking to their spouse, going to the washroom, and on and on.... And getting interrupted for everything you are trying to do all. day. long. "Mom." MOM!!!!!" "MOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!" "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!" and let's multiply those "Mom." 's by about a million. That's how many times I hear My name in a day, or an hour depending on the day. Some days by about 7-8 pm, if someone calls me Mom one more time, I will pitch them out the front door. It's kind of like comparing it to someone poking you in the arm all day long. And never stopping for umpteen years.*

*Bedtime. Need I say more?? No, I need not. But I will. It's like the hugest, most largest surprise of my children's life every. single. day. Say what?????????????????????? We have to do what?? Even though they are so tired that they don't even like themselves by 8 pm. If only they knew how wonderful and precious sleep really is. I usually have to ask 50 times for each of them to go brush their teeth, get undressed, and on and on. I have a love/hate relationship with bedtime. It's all about the negotiations. I could be a professional negotiator. I wonder if that's a thing??*

*Getting ready to go places and actually going places with our kids. It's funny, I don't really care to terribly much about having to deal with my kids being shitheads in public or at someone's house. They have to learn in public how to act in public. But there are some places you just are much more comfortable going to with your kids. Like friends or family's homes who also have shithead kids ha ha ha. Our middle child is a very strong-willed little girl. You can't just tell her "No." without having a fight on your hands. About every little thing. Everything is a big deal to our little girl. I've told this story lots, but one time I was at Bulk Barn with my two youngest. So Ali was about 4 and Whit was 1. If you have ever been to Bulk Barn you know that there are MANY temptations there for little children. I had already let Ali pick some treats and as we were headed through the till she spotted something else that she wanted. I told her that she already picked something and that was it. She proceeded to have a massive meltdown. Hitting and kicking me. Screaming at me. Laying on the floor. The whole nine yards. Keep in mind, the cashier was almost done running my things through. I had Whit on my hip who wasn't yet walking, I had to carry all my purchases out by hand because you can't take their carts out and then I had to keep my cool, pull her off the floor and drag her out to the van. As I get to the van, I had a middle aged lady walk out the door behind me and say, "Good for you for sticking to your guns." I said to her, "There is no other way!" Oh and getting ready to go somewhere, it takes about 6 hours to get out the door. The shoes and jackets that you need to go out the door are rarely at the door. You usually have to search high and low and end up finding that last shoe behind the toilet. ha ha. No joke. There are days when we just leave without shoes, they are over rated anyways, right?!*

*Feeding children. They never like what you make for supper. Even if it's their favorite thing. Half of it goes on the floor. And they all have to poop right in the middle of supper. Seriously, is that only our house? Lol.*

I could go on and on and on............... I'm starting to sound like a bad parent but in reality, I'm just telling you like it is. It does not mean that I don't love my kids because they are my whole world. I can't imagine my life any different. One day it will be too quiet and I'll wish it back.

What I'm really trying to portray is that if you don't have kids, you just don't know. They change you and your life in so many ways imaginable.

There are a lot of hilarious moments. (Well most of it is hilarious enough to laugh at all day long) Like yesterday, we are driving down a dirt road and Tanner says randomly out of the blue in an all serious voice - I think that's a penguin and a buffalo out there in that field. LOL. My husband just about died laughing. But then again, if your not a parent, you might not find it funny!

Ashley





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